SpongeBob SquarePants is all lighthearted and fun until … it makes you contemplate your very existence at the tender elementary school age. SpongeBob, especially in the early seasons, got really dark — existential dread, preoccupation with death, and just bizarre not-exactly-child-friendly content.
Here is my list of the 9 SpongeBob episodes from seasons 1 through 3 that may have stolen your innocence if you are a young millennial.
I will admit #1 one on the list did not sit well with me as a kid and I refuse to watch it again as an adult.
Yes — there are spoilers.
#8 Rock Bottom (Season 1)
After enjoying a fun time at the amusement park, Glove World, SpongeBob and Patrick board a bus back to Bikini Bottom. However, they accidentally get on the wrong bus and get launched down a cliff to the underworld of Rock Bottom, where everything is dark and the residents are… odd.
Triggers: Anxiety, Frustration, Existential Dread
This episode is unsettling because try as SpongeBob might, he can’t seem to get out of Rock Bottom. There are no buses for long stretches of time and then as soon as he turns his back, multiple buses come in quick succession.
It’s so easy to feel helpless and vicarious frustration watching this episode.
#7 Just One Bite (Season 3)
You like Krabby Patties, don’t you, Squidward?
SpongeBob SquarePants: Just One Bite (S3E3)
In this episode, Squidward reveals to SpongeBob that he has never tasted a Krabby Patty, despite being a long-time employee. Shocked, SpongeBob launches a campaign to get Squidward to enjoy his very first patty. Squidward concedes and takes the teeniest bite imaginable — then, he’s hooked.
Trigger: Lack of Self-Control, Addiction, Downward Spiral
Squidward goes into full-on addict mode, eating patties left and right. He even digs up a half-eaten one from the trash to consume it. Finally, Squidward consumes so many that he… explodes. Let that being cautionary tale for having too much of a good thing.
#6 I Was a Teenage Gary (Season 1)
This episode is disturbing to say the least. I’m surprised there isn’t more talk about it.
In this episode, SpongeBob goes out of town for the weekend and asks Squidward to take care of his pet snail, Gary. Squidward is overjoyed to know that SpongeBob will be out of his hair for a few days and pays no attention to SpongeBob’s careful instructions about how to feed Gary. After SpongeBob is gone, Squidward takes the whole week to himself and ignores Gary.
Triggers: Neglect & its unintended consequences
Right before SpongeBob returns, Squidward finds Gary in a severely weakened state. Squidward’s attempts to reanimate him fail and Gary is whisked away to the veterinarian. The only cure for Gary — an injection of snail plasma. Except, Squidward accidentally injects SpongeBob with the needle, turning him into a contorted snail-like creature.
Things get even weirder when SpongeBob slinks around chasing Squidward and then… Squidward also turns into a gruesome snail thing. I… I just don’t know how everyone involved thumbs-uped this plot.
#5 The Secret Box (Season 2)
This is a clever episode because it toys with our very human need to know. The plot is simple, Patrick has a box with a lid on it and SpongeBob wants to know what’s inside. Patrick refuses to tell SpongeBob and SpongeBob spends the whole episode trying to gain access to Patrick’s secret box.
Triggers: We Can Never Really Know What Goes on in Another’s Head
Finally, Patrick opens the box to reveal that a small string inside. SpongeBob is surprised, disappointed but, ultimately, satisfied to learn to learn of the contents in the box. After SpongeBob goes home, however, Patrick pulls the string to reveal that there is an “embarrassing photo” of SpongeBob from last year’s Christmas party.
Okay — this episode is strange for a few reasons. First, the audience never sees the “embarrassing photo” of SpongeBob, which leaves us wondering — what’s in the photo? (My bet — SpongeBob probably ripped his pants again.) Second, why in the world was Patrick hoarding this photo? Personal enjoyment? Blackmail? To torment SpongeBob? Third and finally, this episode gets down to our very human need to know. Because this need is not 100% satisfied at the conclusion of this episode, conspiracy theories about the box have been born.
#4 Squidward the Unfriendly Ghost (Season 1)
Okay, get in.
SpongeBob SquarePants: Squidward the Unfriendly Ghost (S1E11)
This whole episode starts off with a misunderstanding. SpongeBob and Patrick think that they’ve accidentally killed Squidward (more explanation on that plot point here). Squidward is actually alive but he is wearing a white robe, which reinforces SpongeBob and Patrick’s idea that Squidward is dead, but a ghost.
Squidward plays along with the charade and orders SpongeBob and Patrick to serve him. SpongeBob and Patrick wait on Squidward hand and foot until they get they idea that the best thing for Squidward’s soul is to lay him to rest.
Triggers: Death, Denial, Afterlife, Existential Dread
For the rest of the episode, SpongeBob and Patrick try to find ways to bury the still-alive Squidward —literally asking him to “get in” a coffin, as well as digging a hole in the yard to bury him. SpongeBob and Patrick don’t give up and eventually trap Squidward in a bubble that sends him up to the sky (or afterlife, symbolically).
When you peel away all the humor, this episode revolves around our relationship with death. Acceptance of death, the denial of death, and what if anything comes after life.
#3 Doing Time (Season 3)
This episode is trippier than it appears.
Mrs. Puff (the boating school instructor) accompanies SpongeBob on a drive for boating school. SpongeBob, a horrible driver, is a responsible for an accident of epic proportions (accident details here). Although SpongeBob is behind the wheel, Mrs. Puff is the one who is thrown in jail as she, as the instructor, is being held responsible.
Although jail sounds horrible, Mrs. Puff initially delights in the prospect of having plenty of time away from SpongeBob. SpongeBob, on the other hand, feels terrible and vows to break Mrs. Puff out of prison.
Triggers: Wrongful Detention, Spiraling into Insanity, Perils of the Prison System, Existential Dread
SpongeBob recruits Patrick on his mission to free Mrs. Puff. The pair keep popping up in the prison — in the vat of chili, as rocks in the outdoor space, as coat hangers, etc. Mrs. Puff, who decides she would rather stay in prison, alerts the guards at every turn to SpongeBob and Patrick’s presence. However, the problem is, whenever the guards appear, SpongeBob and Patrick are gone — poof.
The guards begin to think Mrs. Puff is crazy. They put Mrs. Puff in a straight jacket and lock her up in solitary confinement, where she sees SpongeBob everywhere. In the end, maybe, Mrs. Puff really is crazy. The plot action transitions back to the car accident at the beginning of the episode, as if the whole prison experience were all an imagination. Did Mrs. Puff really go to jail? Was it all a hallucination? Is she in a time loop?
Whatever the outcome, this episode is eery as it playfully dances around themes of loss of liberty, (perhaps) unlawful imprisonment, and insanity.
#2 Dying for pie (Season 2)
This episode is a ticking time bomb.
The Krusty Krab employees participate in a gift exchange. SpongeBob presents Squidward with a (gross) heartfelt gift of a sweater made from his own eyelashes. Squidward forgets to get SpongeBob a gift altogether. In a pinch, Squidward sees a group of pirates with some pies (… pie-rates?) and wants to quickly buy a pie off them to give to SpongeBob. The pirates let slip that they aren’t really pies, but bombs. When Squidward reveals that he would have paid for a pie, the pirates change course and assure Squidward that they really are pies **wink**… not bombs.
Squidward buys a pie, returns to the Krusty Krab, and leaves it out for SpongeBob. However, an incident with Mr. Krabs brings the whole situation to light — it’s not a pie at all, but a real bomb. Mr. Krabs, who thinks Squidward did this deliberately, is absolutely disgusted with Squidward. It looks as if SpongeBob consumed the pie bomb and Squidward — careless, but no killer— is horrified that SpongeBob is going to die.
Triggers: Death, Dying, Spending the end of one’s life well, Existential Dread
Squidward does everything in his power to try to remove the bomb, but it’s no use. So, until the bomb goes off and SpongeBob perishes, Squidward promises to make SpongeBob’s final hours great ones. At the end of the day filled with friendship activities, SpongeBob and Squidward watch the sun set (with a brick wall between them for bomb protection).
SpongeBob, however, doesn’t explode. The pie was in SpongeBob’s back pocket the whole time. Yet, in a cosmic twist SpongeBob trips and accidentally detonates the pie. Bye, bye Bikini Bottom. The End.
As a kid, I found this episode to be funny, however, as an adult — geez. Life, death, life, death, dying, death. Life is precious and we should spend it well. I shouldn’t overthink these things.
#1 SB-129 (Season 1)
The innocuous title of this episode belies the copious existential dread packed within this single episode.
In short, Squidward accidentally locks himself in the Krusty Krab freezer and is stuck there for 2,000 years. This episode plays with time travel, where Squidward emerges in a future where everything is made out of Chrome (pre-Google browser) and gets sent back to a pre-historic past.
Trigger: Existential Dread
Squidward is absolutely trapped in unsettling other times until he is launched in a nowhereland, where everything is empty and white (with colored square throughout). There’s no time here, no beginning, end, or way out. Squidward is absolutely alone — which is creepy as all get out. Eventually, Squidward breaks free from the time warp and returns to Bikini Bottom.
Being trapped in a freezer is bad enough, but Squidward’s spiral into existential dread is more dark than humorous.